Playing with fire
by SilviaDee
Summary: Alex  wants to be there for her. Will she let here in?


She was trying to calm herself, to control her breathing and slow her heart beating. Pain run through her arms from her fisting hands, restraining herself from punching the walls. She left the precint with a dry "see you" that ruined her expresionless fachade; and even though she saw ADA Alexandra Cabot entering their office and walking directly to her smiling she didn't slow her step and leave as fast as posible. Today, facing Alex" was too much to deal with. She wouldnt be able to control herself if she looked Alexandra Cabot in the eyes. She noticed the look of concern that briefly cross the lawyer's face, but she felt too tired to allow herself to feel that tiny string of hope she felt whenever their ADA showed some interest on her. She was at home now, feeling dead inside, full of despair and rage. Her phone had been ringing for about two hours but she had ignored it; hearing the sad voice but full of simpathy "it's not your fault, We couldn't do anything else for her" from her partner or the frustated "the world is full of bastards, You cant expect us to stop them all" Finn throw at her when i criminal was released. Elliot had called her about three or four times but he had quit trying after that, knowing she needed to be alone. Who had been trying to reach her over and over again for the last hour she didn't know and lazily strecht her hand to grab her phone and find out when someone knocked on her door. She stayed still hoping they leave thinking she wasnt at home but after a few seconds she heard a tired and worried voice:

- open the dammed door, Detective

Fuck!, was that ADA Cabot? What the hell is she doing here?

- Detective Olivia Benson, open the door, i know you're in there" .

Olivia didn't want to see or talk to anybody but if it were Elliot or anybody else knocking on her door, she would have considered to let them in; an angry Alexandra Cabot and a very upset and depressed Olivia Benson meant in the best of cases a heated argument and she felt too weak to face that.

-Olivia... Please... Just open the door. Please, let me in... Liv, please.

The exhausted detective found herself at the door reaching for the knob without knowing how she has got there. Those last words, "Live, please", had triggered something inside and had overcome the rage and pain inside and she felt her defenses begin to fall on their own accord. She hated the way she had surrender to that voice and anger filled her whole , again

- ADA Cabot, let me the fuck alone!

She heard the woman knocked again - Liv...

Fuck Alexandra Cabot!, would your honor leave me alone!

Two weak knocks were heard again -Liv,please... Let me in

- why Alexandra? Why are you here?, please leave me alone... Please ... Alex

Olivia couldnt control herself anymore, and sobs were making it difficult to talk.

- please Lex... Please, just leave...

She was horrified, she knew the other woman could hear her cry through the door, she knew she shouldnt allow herself to be so exponed to a colleague but when she heard her name again through the cold wood she was resting her head on, she slowly opened the door

There, with her hair slightly disheveled, looking at her with her inquisitive blue eyes, that Olivia could have thought were wet from unshed tears if she didn't knew better, but otherwise perfect was ADA Alexandra Cabot, who after a minute of hesitance entered with two determines steps into the apartment.

Olivia just stayed there, the door open, hand still in the knob, trying to componed herself. A few minutos passed till Alex, after taking an shaking breath, talk to her again, with a gente but strong voice

- Olivia, please, close the door and take a sit on the sofá.

She did as she was told but have way to the sofá, she turnes around to look Alex directly in the eyes.

- what the hell are you doing here, Alex? - she said keeping her voice as even as she could.

The lawyer felt the change in the air surrounding her and the tension in the detective voice and thought to herself: ok, so we've back to the hard and cold Olivia Benson. She held olivia's gaze and she prepared herself for what was coming her way.

- what the hell Olivia!, I have been calling you every five minutes for an hour or so and you haven't answer!

- Well, i didn't know it was you and, mind you, but i have the right to decide if i answer my phone of not.

- why did you leave so early and why aren't you answering your phone? Asked Alex taking off her coat and leaving it on a chair.

- excuse me!, that's none of your business!, replay Olivia her voice Louder than before - again why are you here!,!

Alex looked at Olivia above her glasses, moved pass Her and took a sit on the sofá herself

- because i was worried and i came to stay here with you, i dont want you alone tonight, you need somebody to be with you and, most of all, you need to let whatever is eating you out.

- what the hell Alex! Shouted Olivia, she was losing it and she wanted Alex gone.

- We are all concerned about you but i guess i was the only one daring enough to come here and face you. She said while she walked back to the front door to Hung her coat.

Olivia suddently saved the distance betwen them and pinned Alex against the door.-

- Alex you dont want to be here, believe me. i need nobody and you know nothing about what i need to let out or not. - she felt tears blurring her visión and she didn't want anybody to see her breaking apart, least of all Alex. She felt her blood boiling and frustation overwhelmed her.

- sorry, Olivia - said Alex with a firm and calm voice, not even flinching at Olivia outburst- i' m staying here with you till you tell me wats happening with you

- fuck Alex! - she felt tears fallíng freely now. she couldn't restrain herself anymore and punched the door quite close to where alex's head was resting. - what do you care? - she shouted now sobbing uncontrollably.

- fuck, Liv! - shouted back the lawyer- We lost a case and a rapist is now walking freely the streets looking for his next victim! But you dont storm into my office to yell at me or blame me for letting a criminal lose out there, you dont stamp your fist in your desk and curse aloud nor have you make any attempt to talk to your partners about how unfair and uptight justice and the laws are. No, you just left the precint early!, your face completely expresionless, passing by without sending me one of your famous "not your fault/but i dont like you now" and you gave any clue about your wellbeing for about 5 hours! What do i care? i care for you! You scared me to dead when you didn't answer my phone calls! I was worried sick about you!

- Alex!, Olivia interrumpted trying to gañí control of her emotions- We have been friends for over a year now, but your presence here is hurting me even more... You just dont understand... I dont want anybody here now... The least of all you! You need to leave Alex.

Alex felt hurt and desperate and even though crying was the last thing she should do, she couldn't help herself. Olivia has become an important person in her Live and she had developed feelings for the detective that confused and scared her but couldn't be ignored anymore.

- why am i the one you want here the least, Olivia? Why? Liv, please, talk to me... Please

-dont call me that! Dont call me liv, alex!- shouted at the blonde who were a mere inch es apart and wince at the violent outburst?

Olivia was exhausted and rested her forehead on alex's, closing her eyes, tears running down her face unrestrained. She felt soft skin agaisnt hers and alex's perfume invaded her senses. She leaned a little closer feeling alex's breath cool on her face. God... She felt so good. She straighten herself, every part of her body in contact now with the lawyer's... Her hands placed at both sides of alex,s head on the door. She felt So good

Alex's breath caught in her chest. Olivia's movement took her by surprise. She felt her body trembling, her heart beating madly in her chest and her eyes closed at their own accord She was pinned agaisnt the door and every inch of her body was in contact with olivia's. God... She felt so good. She reached and caressed the detective's cheek... So good...

- Liv... -Alex whispered.

-you dont understand Alex, you souldnt be here - Olivia whispered, loving her body slowly agaisnt alex's.-you shouldnt be here Alex... It feels too good to fight it, Alex, you just feel too good...

Their líps collided with violence. Mouths opened, giving access to hungry tongues. Tasting. Biting. Sucking. .

Olivia's hands moved to alex's thighs, pulling her even more into her body while alex's buried themselves in short and dark locks. They devored each other's mouth till lack of air drew them apart.

- Alex...


End file.
